Surrendering

I have it all mapped out. What it’s going to look like, how it’s going to run. Where it’s going to be located and how many places I’m going to travel to. Who I’m going to speak to and the people I’m going to meet. What I’m going to build for my children and how they are going to respond to it. I visualize it all happening. I fantasize about the day it will all come together. But something is happening. Shit is not working out. It’s taking longer than I expected and people are not responding the way I think they should. I mean what’s hard about it. I have it all written out.. just look. I even have it in pictures on a piece of cardboard. It’s not rocket science! All we have to do is this and this will happen. I’m not understanding what you are not understanding.

Am I the only one going through this? Please tell me you are experiencing this too? If not all at least some of it. When I was told to write the vision and make it plain that’s exactly what I started to do. But understanding that sometimes what I write is not his will just hit me like a ton of bricks. I mean I know that his will is not mine so why did I choose to forget that. I am causing myself unnecessary stress because I’m picking and choosing what part of his word I’m going to apply to my life. Why have I been trying to run when I’m out of breath and need to start walking. My faith is not in running shape. I’m tired as hell.

So today I’m surrendering. I’m surrendering to his will and all of his word. I’m surrendering to his purpose for my life and the steps that it’s going to take to get me there. No matter how long or hard. I’m surrendering to the fact that I may have to do it alone. I’m surrendering to the faith that I neglect and the promises I chose to forget about. I’m surrendering my ego, my plans, and my pride.

Lord, I surrender all.

Do you need to surrender anything? Don’t have me thinking I’m the only one out here showing out. Maybe your surrendering is completely different than mine. Leave me and your sisters some empowerment in the comments. We would love to know.